worn down and tired out.

you're hurting me dammit. you're hurting me.

i feel so exhausted. i really am.

ive been trying not to lie to you. to the both of you. but what the hell comes out of it? nothing ever. nothing. really just nothing.

do you ever appreciate a single thing that i do? do you ever realize that i try? you dont. you never do. you never ever ever do. im tired of trying to meet up to your expectations of me. tired of being who you want me to. not myself. who you want me to be. do you even know how miserable ive been? do you even care? you never have. ive tried. but do you even see it. you never ever. ever. ever do.

-- i hate you.

you dont ever see that i try either. youre becoming so much like her it wears me out. why did you make me go back to crying myself to sleep again? why did you...? you used to give me such courage and strength. and belief in myself. i used to believe that the world was ours. i used to believe all that crap. just crap. why did you have to go and take it all away why? whywhywhywhy? you know i dont believe there'll ever be a forever now...? because you make me realize forever is like. just this faraway DREAM. its not even hope you know. just a dream. and i dont know how to continue trying when im already trying so hard and its not enough for you. its just not enough for you. im tired. you know i feel like. the time at the end of mine and michael's relationship when i kept trying and trying and trying to bloody bring it back. and it didnt work. why is it happening with you and me now? whywhy?

-- goodbye isnt for forever.